Usain Bolt's Steroids
NEWS FLASH!! -- China customs sieze suspicious package that was intended for Usain Bolt!!
A 200 kilo shipment of suspected PEDs (Performance Enhancing Drugs) addressed to Usain Bolt at the Olympic Village in Beijing, was siezed by authorites in Beijing, China early this morning. Coming on the heels of his recent outstanding performances where he won two gold medals and set two new world records at the 2008 Olympics, this is definitely not looking good.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, a senior customs inspector told reporters that suspicions were aroused by the bulky and lumpy shipment which was wrapped in rough, dirty burlap. Stenciled in bold letters on the bag, were the following words:
"DELIVER TO USAIN BOLT, JAMAICAN CAMP, OLYMPIC VILLAGE ... HIM NEED THIS FI CONTINUE BREAKING WORLD RECORDS."
Upon opening the package, dozens and dozens of a dirty, tubular product were discovered and immediately sent to the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) lab in Beijing for testing. Chinese customs are certain that they have intercepted a shipment of pure, unprocessed performance enhancing drugs. Also, in light of recent bans of Olympic athletes who've used steroids and other performance enhancing drugs, the IAAF and the JAAA have been put on alert as they await the analysis of the shipment.
Below is a picture of one of the mystery tubular 'products' from the shipment that was taken to the lab for testing.
Jamaican Yellow Yam
(from Trelawny ... Bolt country)
P.S. If you're not Jamaican, you probably won't GET this joke. More about Yam.
- From an email forward
Featured Quote
Former 200m world record holder Michael Johnson, commentating for the BBC on Thursday, August 20, 2009: said that Usain Bolt will not break his 200 metres world record later on that day (in the 200M World Championships final) because he's been exerting himself a lot and showing signs of fatigue.
Bolt smashed 0.11 seconds of his own record in the race later that day!